How is everyone holding up?

CuriousOne · **Posted:** Fri Dec 25, 2009 1:33 am

MJW.

Brandiqueen · **Joined:** Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:21 pm **Posts:** 588

i miss MJ really bad today !! *cry*

klondiker · **Posted:** Sat Dec 26, 2009 9:32 am

It's late at night here, and Christmas Day is almost over. I've been really busy the last few days because I have company staying with me over the Christmas holidays... however, even in the midst of all the chaos, all day today I kept thinking "Merry Christmas Michael", and then I would think "I can't believe (still!) he's not here to hear us"...

I miss him so much.

CuriousOne · **Posted:** Sun Dec 27, 2009 1:57 pm

yeah - I can't either Klondiker. I have to say it gets better for a while but it doesn't go away. I've come to the conclusion that it's just not going to for a long time or maybe it never will.

michaeljackson'swife · **Posted:** Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:08 am

Yea, I agree with you Curious. If it does ever get better, it will take a very long time. I don't think it will ever really go away though. Even when I'm 30 years old I'm sure sometimes I'll have a cry over Michael. I miss him.

Sometimes I feel, well I feel kinda guilty for missing him. Like, the fact that I didn't even ever really know him. And I know his kids and family are out there missing him. I feel like it somehow isn't my place to miss him. I do miss him though. :cry:

Brandiqueen · **Joined:** Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:21 pm **Posts:** 588

michaeljackson'swife wrote:

Yea, I agree with you Curious. If it does ever get better, it will take a very long time. I don't think it will ever really go away though. Even when I'm 30 years old I'm sure sometimes I'll have a cry over Michael. I miss him.

Sometimes I feel, well I feel kinda guilty for missing him. Like, the fact that I didn't even ever really know him. And I know his kids and family are out there missing him. I feel like it somehow isn't my place to miss him. I do miss him though. :cry:

I sometimes fell like i don't have the right to miss him either.. but i cant help it...i miss him with all my heart, my heart actually aches for MJ.. when i watch his dvds i just cry because i want to hold him so badly... i love him so very much *cry*

michaeljackson'swife · **Posted:** Mon Dec 28, 2009 4:03 am

Brandiqueen wrote:

michaeljackson'swife wrote:

Yea, I agree with you Curious. If it does ever get better, it will take a very long time. I don't think it will ever really go away though. Even when I'm 30 years old I'm sure sometimes I'll have a cry over Michael. I miss him.

Sometimes I feel, well I feel kinda guilty for missing him. Like, the fact that I didn't even ever really know him. And I know his kids and family are out there missing him. I feel like it somehow isn't my place to miss him. I do miss him though. :cry:

I sometimes fell like i don't have the right to miss him either.. but i cant help it...i miss him with all my heart, my heart actually aches for MJ.. when i watch his dvds i just cry because i want to hold him so badly... i love him so very much *cry*

Yes. That's how I feel too. I want to hug him very tightly, and never let him go! I love him so much too. No one really understands that exept other MJ fans. Some people tell me they know how I feel, no they don't. Only you guys do. It's just really hard.

Brandiqueen · **Joined:** Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:21 pm **Posts:** 588

michaeljackson'swife wrote:

Brandiqueen wrote:

michaeljackson'swife wrote:

Yea, I agree with you Curious. If it does ever get better, it will take a very long time. I don't think it will ever really go away though. Even when I'm 30 years old I'm sure sometimes I'll have a cry over Michael. I miss him.

Sometimes I feel, well I feel kinda guilty for missing him. Like, the fact that I didn't even ever really know him. And I know his kids and family are out there missing him. I feel like it somehow isn't my place to miss him. I do miss him though. :cry:

I sometimes fell like i don't have the right to miss him either.. but i cant help it...i miss him with all my heart, my heart actually aches for MJ.. when i watch his dvds i just cry because i want to hold him so badly... i love him so very much *cry*

Yes. That's how I feel too. I want to hug him very tightly, and never let him go! I love him so much too. No one really understands that exept other MJ fans. Some people tell me they know how I feel, no they don't. Only you guys do. It's just really hard.

These past few days i have felt really down... I really can't wait to see the back of 2009, its been a really crap year.. we lost MJ.. i lost my dear Nan.. and i ive not seen the man i had been seeing for 6 years for 5 months (I didnt realise he believed all the shit that was written about MJ, so i had to make a choice).. so its been really crappy.. *cry*

i just want to cry ALL the time, buti have to keep it together in front of the kids *cry*

michaeljackson'swife · **Posted:** Tue Dec 29, 2009 3:53 am

Oh Brandi, I'm so sorry.

I shouldn't be complaining, sure I miss MJ but I have a great life. I should be thankful for all that I have. I'm sorry that you had to go through all this stuff all at once. I hope that next year is much better for you. I know that sometimes it is hard to "keep it together" but I'm sure you can do it. Us MJ fans are very strong. We have to be, I'm sure you are too. *hug*

klondiker · **Posted:** Thu Dec 31, 2009 7:38 pm

Brandiqueen wrote:

.. and i ive not seen the man i had been seeing for 6 years for 5 months (I didnt realise he believed all the shit that was written about MJ, so i had to make a choice).. so its been really crappy..

It's been a long time since I laughed and cried at the same time... this made me sob... funny and tragic... it's true there are two kinds of people in the world..... those who "get" MJ and those who don't... and I think it says a lot about a person which side of that equation they fall on... I think you made the right choice Brandi! Hang in there... new year coming...

... and I hope it truly is a Happy New Year for everyone, in all the ways that are important to you!

... still crying... *cry*

Brandiqueen · **Joined:** Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:21 pm **Posts:** 588

well.... i saw the new year in by crying.... crying for my angel MJ... I cried because it was the end of 2009, a year that took too many people that i love, i'm so glad its over!! I actually went out for new years eve this year (i didnt want to, i just wanted to sit in and watch my MJ) my kids and friends persuaded me to go out...i'm glad i did now... just after Auld Lang Syne the played a Michael Jackson medley... i now have a very sore throat from singing very loud to Man IN The Mirror .... I LOVE YOU MICHAEL !! xxxx

CuriousOne · **Posted:** Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:29 am

2009 was a horrible year for me; struggles, heartbreaks, and losses. Regardless of if I should or not I still feel a very deep loss for me and everyone one else. I made my new year's wish and a promise to let him go but not forget him and to always protect his memory. My inner child's best friend and champion - I'll always love and miss you. You deserved so much better. I wish I could wish you back and wish that happy ending for you.

As always wished for a happy year for everyone.

I wish all the best for you all. *hug*

Happy New Year.

michaeljackson'swife · **Posted:** Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:19 am

Yes! Here's to a brand new year! I hope everything goes so much better for all of us! A toast to us and our man MJ! (Although, I'm not 21, so give me some Mountain Dew and I'll be fine)

I love all you guys very much and I am so glad that I am a member here. Thanks for being there you guys. Love you! *hug*

Brandiqueen · **Joined:** Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:21 pm **Posts:** 588

I went to the National Television Awards (UK) last night at the O2 Arena, our seats were just down from where we wold have sat to see MJ.. lets just say my make-up was a bit smudged from crying *cry*

michaeljackson'swife · **Posted:** Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:03 am

Awww...Brandi.

I'm sorry, that must have been so hard! I can't even imagine. I would have had to leave I'd be crying so much probably! I hope you feel better now. *hug*

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